YOUR CHANCE OF DEATH VISITING JUMPS ON ALL YOUR BIRTHDAYS AFTER YOU TURN 60?
I love aging. And I mean that with all the ironic bitterness of someone who’s made it to just over half a century of life (so far) without dying. Shoot, it’s already been at least a decade since I mourned the loss of connective tissue for athletic joy in movement. And then there’s male pattern baldness, “old man skin,” a noted change in eyesight quality, waking up with a full bladder way too early, fingernails practically growing visibly…. The list goes on and on and on. So, I love aging. With a little sense of humor, it makes a blend of humility and appreciation almost palatable. But now the numbers show that a person’s chance of being visited by death jumps on your birthdays after you turn 60? WTF.
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BBC SCIENCE FOCUS SO KIND TO REMIND US OF INCREASED DEATH ON BIRTHDAYS FROM 12 YEARS AGO
I mean, seriously. WTF. It’s hard to maintain the denial that all is good with aging as more things get harder, only to learn that your birthdays after 60 get even more dangerous. So thanks, BBC Science Focus! Thanks a lot for making us remember a Swiss study from 2012 (when I was still in my damn 30’s!) that for people over 60, there was a 13.8% jump of dying on their birthdays. No, really. Thanks so much! I managed to create a personal tradition of having a bottle of champagne in one hand and a lit cigar as midnight struck the tone of my birthday for a number of years. Apparently, that’s not such a good idea any more.
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WHILE OBVIOUSLY LOGICAL, OVER 60 BIRTHDAYS DEATH CHANCE JUMP IS STILL HARD NEWS
Because the increased risk of dying on one of your birthdays over 60 is, actually, fairly logical. The noted causes are drinking too much, making you a clumsy asshat more likely to suffer some fatal malady; already being very sick and “holding on” before hitting that last numerical milestone; increased “age-related” depression that increases the risk of suicide; and lastly, and only maybe, human data entry errors in death registration errors. I’m hoping that last has a lot to do with it. But I doubt it. So, Cheers! After you turn 60, be sure to get shitfaced in a padded room with a personal handler watching, so one of your later fun birthdays doesn’t turn out to be your last.
Honestly, when I become a sexagenarian, I hope it mostly entails a lot of the first 3 letters. Maybe with heart meds.
