FLORIDA COP HANDCUFFS, SEND 3-YEAR-OLD SON TO “JAIL” TO EXPEDITE POTTY TRAINING
Parenting is hard, and fraught with both the expected and the unexpected when it comes to challenges. There’s no immunity from this as soon as you become a mommy, daddy, or whatever your parental noun of choice is. But one challenge every parent faces is the dreaded potty training. For some, it’s a brief foray into scatological patience and parental support, no matter the circumstances. But for others that out-of-briefs porcelain process can take a lot longer. That means extra patience. But one Florida cop has failed in his parental duty to protect his child from himself. He sent his 3-year-old to jail because of potty training!
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FLORIDA COP COUPLE SEND SON TO “JAIL” OVER SUCCESSIVE DAYS TILL POOPING PANTS STOPPED
So for one, yes, it’s Florida we’re talking about. You can expect the weirdest, stupidest and most infuriating news to crawl out of the panhandle’s murky waters. But even so, this story beyond disturbing. Daytona Beach Shores officer Lt. Michael Schoenbrod and his co-parent in crime partner Det. Sgt. Jessica Long decided that the challenges their son was having with potty training required some extra motivation on his part to stop pooping his pants. So their answer? Last October, the answer was to handcuff their son and lock him up “on successive days.”
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COP COUPLE NOW UNDER INTERNAL DEPARTMENT INVESTIGATION OVER POTTY TRAINING INCARCERATION
In other words, son, if you poop you pants again you get a timeout in restraints and will be locked up until you make up your intransigence to society (well, us, as your parents). Oh! You didn’t learn your lesson yesterday? Here we go again. And however many more days it takes until you learn your potty training properly. Ah, well. Somehow the news got out and the two are now under an internal investigation by the department. Gee, you think? So far, no findings have yet been released and we don’t know if the two will face any disciplining of their own.
And here I thought parochial already mean martial. What did I know?
