England Declares Octupi, Crabs and Lobsters to Be Sentient Beings

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England Declares Octupi, Crabs and Lobsters to Be Sentient Beings

ENGLAND SAYS THAT OCTOPI, CRABS AND LOBSTERS ARE NOW SENTIENT BEINGS, NEW LAWS ON THE WAY

So I’m a bit leery of this news.  The government in England has made a bold move, as it declares that some of our favorite fishy foods are actually sentient beings.  So as you can see in the headline, we’re talking about octopi, squid, shrimp and lobsters.  Oh, and crayfish.  So much for that jambalaya, paella or anything you love from Portugal.  Well, without some guilt, I suppose.  I’m not sure what the motivation of the English government was, here.  I mean, who thinks about researching the intelligence of decapod crustaceans and cephalopods?

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WHAT MAKES YOU SENTIENT?  THE ABILITY TO FEEL THINGS LIKE PAIN, HUNGER AND JOY

Well, ok, I get it about octopi.  We all know they’re incredibly smart animals.  Just Google videos of octopi escapes and I know you’ll be impressed.  But crabs?  Lobsters?  Shrimp?  And crayfish?  The researchers established that they are all sentient.  Or, rather, that they can all experience pain, hunger, joy, excitement and a host of other feelings.  I’d say I’m shocked but they are, after all, all alive.  If they have the ability to feel their environment, hunt for dinner and enjoy it that all seems pretty normal and standard to be.  But sentient beings?  Maybe octopi and squid.  I’m not even close to the fence on the rest.

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ENGLISH LAW WILL CHANGE SHORTLY TO REFLECT CONSIDERATION FOR NEW CONSIDERATE BEINGS, BUT STILL DINNER

But England will shortly update their new animal welfare bill as a result of these sentient being declarations.  So far, I don’t see anything I’m totally against that may face bans.  Like, declawing crabs or cutting the tendon of their claws.  Or cutting off the eyestalks of female shrimp to speech up breeding.  And, well, I don’t really have a problem with stunning lobsters with electricity before boiling them alive.  So maybe we don’t have to feel too much guilt, yet, about eating some of the best seafood dishes.  I mean, eating amazing food comprised of sentient beings.

Now, who’s in the mood for a sirloin steak?

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