Porn dating is here
Scrolling through my Twitter feed is a guilty pleasure of mine and sometimes, that guilty pleasure translates into a story.
A few weeks ago, I noticed that one of the women I follow Twitter started venting about a failed relationship. Being fascinated by the process of human interaction the way I am, I scrolled through her timeline to read more of her, at times, hysterically funny rant on the social-media platform.
She was confident, strong and sharp in the airing of her grievances, not the typical heartbroken mess so many of us would be after a soured relationship, but where did this strength come from? Was it that she had the ability to step back from the situation and asses it in a calm cool manner? Or was it the fact she was an adult film star that gave her a different perspective on relationships?
It made me wonder how much different the dating scene in the adult industry is compared to the one most of us find ourselves in. If you think about it, this special breed of people has found a way to separate sex from love and, in doing so, may have a better understanding of the more important things in a relationship.
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So in an effort to find out if the most sexually powerful women in the world treat relationships like their non-industry counterparts, I turned to Courtney Trouble, porn star, photographer, award-winning pornographer and founder of TROUBLEfilms, for an exclusive interview.
Q: Is it hard for people in the adult film industry to meet people they’d want to have a relationship with?
Courtney Trouble: People fall under our spell fairly easy — porn performers are so sexually attractive, they fuck for a living right? We are total crush magnets, so we may meet, like, a lot of people — and have to weed out who the real gems are out of a long list of people who want to date us, marry us, fuck us, whatever. I think most adult film industry folks want smart, down-to-Earth partners who are chill about our jobs and don’t buy into the stereotypes and stigmas.
What do you think are the biggest misconceptions someone meeting you for the first time may have about you?
I have noticed recently that a lot of my new Twitter followers only know about me through my hardcore performances in Smash Pictures’ “San Francisco Lesbians” and Evil Angel’s “Curvy Casting Couch” and interact with me based on a very limited understanding of what I do.
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For the past decade, I have been running a porn production company of my own, TROUBLEfilms, doing everything from making the films, editing, to marketing, graphic design and building/designing/maintaining a fleet of complex websites like QueerPorn.Tv. It’s pretty frustrating to not be believable as a business person — and that’s just more about the stigmas around beautiful women, not even being a porn star.
What do you look for in a companion, and how does that compare to your onscreen preferences?
Professionally, I like porn lovers/costars to be professional, have a lot of stamina and creativity and be clean and free of body odor, bad breath and artificial scents. I gravitate towards switch, queer femmes like my scene with Emerald X File as my all-time favorite costars.
In my personal life, my primary partner is my husband, a queer guy (who has, in fact, made porn with me … kind of). All of my relationships and lovers beyond my marriage are with queer femmes. I’m totally femme-sexual. I’m incredibly attracted to strong and creative perverts. So I guess I don’t have much difference between what I look for in a companion vs. what I look for in a porn costar — except for when it comes to my real-life lovers, the smellier the better.
Do you find that most of your partners understand the difference between your career and personal life or is jealousy an issue?
Oh, of course. I really only gravitate towards smart, chill people. I can’t even begin to take on a partner who would get jealous of my art or my job. Maybe other people have that strength, but I don’t. I think that is why a lot of sex workers date within the industry. A lot of my costars (like Chelsea Poe, who I dominate in “Fucking Mystic”) are people I’ve had relationships with outside of work. We get each other in a way non-performers usually can’t. That’s the easy route for a lot of people in the industry, but also a lot of us do seek perfect mates outside of the industry. My husband is a chef.
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Are there physical acts you’ll do on camera but not in your personal life or vise versa?
Probably not. There’s stuff that’s sacred to my marriage that I haven’t done onscreen or with other lovers, but that is really just limited to a very personal fantasy. But there’s nothing that I’ve done onscreen that I wouldn’t do offscreen. I’m pretty blessed and privileged to be able to produce my own porn and choose my projects very carefully. I’m naturally kinky, sexually fluid and curious. Those are really good traits to have as a porn star. I’ve never been erotically conservative.
What is your ideal date?
Honestly? Popcorn from a mainstream movie theater but in my own house with a Maya Rudolph movie on my projector.
What’s the best date you were ever on?
Sad to say not the one above, but I have walked hand-in-hand through the Gothic district of Barcelona eating ice cream for a week, and that was out of this world.
The worst date you were ever on?
I don’t remember. It must have been pretty bad!
Tell me the best and/or worst pickup line you’ve ever heard?
The best pickup line ever is what my husband said to me right before we made out for the first time: “I’ve just had a crush on you for so, so long.” That kind of directness is hard to resist.
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Anything impersonal is a bad pickup line. And anything that frames a woman as a damsel-in-distress, an item, a stereotype, etc. is a horrible pickup line. Telling me to smile or basically any kind of catcall. We are so sick of hearing that shit.
What three people would you choose to fuck, marry, kill?
Me, myself and Kenny from “South Park.”
