Some Freak in Virginia Shaving Other People’s Pet Cats

FREAK IN SMALL VIRGINIA TOWN IS CATCHING AND SHAVING OTHER PEOPLE’S PET CATS

So Virginia is for Lovers. Well, that’s what the bumper sticker says, anyway. I’ve been thru there a few times in the past, and nothing notable happened for me there. Anyway, there’s something weird going on down there, in the Shenandoah Valley. Well, in a small town with the name, Waynesboro, as it were. And no, I don’t know who Wayne was. But I am a cat lover, all later euphemisms aside. And someone in Waynesboro is catching other people’s cats, if briefly. Why? Well, to shave them, of course. Wait, what? That’s not an of course. These are other people’s cats! That sounds like the very definition of a freak.

SHAVING CATS? WHAT? LOCAL VIRGINIA RESIDENTS AND POLICE HAVE NO CLUE WHO OR WHY

So yes, this is small town stuff. But it’s big city weirdness. Shaving cats! So far, local residents (except for the freak) and police have no idea what’s going on. Or why. In the last few months, as many as 7 cats so far suddenly became hairless. Now, if you didn’t know, that’s not an easy thing to accomplish. We’re talking about outdoor cats. Or, at least, some freak caught these cats while they were outside. And unless these 7 cats are the mellowest in the world, it’s hard to believe they would sit still for a full body shave. Would you?

CAT SHAVING FREAK GOES TO TOWN ON THEIR BELLIES, GROINS AND LEGS

So ok, not all of the cats’ bodies saw the razor. But where is even more surprising. Their bellies, groin and legs! Imagine shaving a cat’s belly! Now, cats don’t normally like someone they don’t know touching their bellies. In fact, they have quite the strong natural defense mechanism, slicing the crap out of your hand and arms with their strong back legs. And the freak could not have mistaken any of the 7 cats as strays. They all have collars on! See? Big city weird.

So my best guess is, someone likes a nice shaved…. cat. There’s no pussyfooting around it.