GOP Teens Twitter Account Tweets, Get Killed

So the GOP has got a little bit of a problem on its hands. It seems young voters, those between the ages of 18 and 35, find the grand old party to be, well, old, at times crotchety, anti-education, a little bit racist, and a whole lot of hatin’ on the gays.

Here to help turn the tide via the Twitterverse is GOP Teens! A whole Twitter handle made for the GOP to reach young voters, especially those who, you know, aren’t able to vote yet. Never mind that, the page is all sorts of fresh and hip! I mean, look at their logo. It’s an elephant wearing sunglasses! I mean … how cool is that?

OK, so it’s not real. I mean, it exists and it’s amazing, but it’s not actually run by anyone in or affiliated with the Republican party. GOP Teens is the brainchild of Daniel Kibblesmith, a writer, comedian and cartoonist based in Chicago. I know you were thinking, “This is too good to be true!” and unfortunately it was. But that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy it all the same.

First off, who couldn’t help but to love this smiling white child?

Wait, is that a blurry black person back there? What’s his story?

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So you don’t have to, I’ve compiled some of the more WTFish tweets to come out of this handle. What follows is a greatest hits of sorts of what we’d imagine to be the GOP’s lame-ass attempts at humor, politics and wit. All in all, it reads like your racist uncle trying desperately to relate to you at Thanksgiving while at the same time spouting off some Ayn Rand garbage.

Here we go…

I’m not even sure what to make of this one. Like, have we seen him cry at a funeral? Also, not sure how this is at all the GOP’s business, let alone why they would care.

Again, not sure why the GOP is asking this. Please tell me you’re not making a list or something.

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Would you make fun of me if I do? Also, I usually refer to ethnic food via the country it comes from. I don’t call friends and say, “Hey, who’s up for some foreign food tonight!?” Just some thoughts.

So, the Nazis were responsible for Benghazi?!

Whew. Maybe Hillary’s off the hook at last.

I just liked the pairing of these two. You know, telling the President of the United States to shut the fuck up and then celebrating the family classic “The Wizard of Oz.”

Well, that’s just a recipe for disaster. I can pretty much tell you what your parents would say.

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I’m not even sure what the takeaway here is. What if God wore a condom? Wait, is God a sex maniac or something? Is this anti-safe sex or some sort of religious message? Who the hell is God having sex with, GOP Teens? Tell us!

And more about Benghazi. This seems tame compared to the God/condom one.

And last but not least … let’s all take a moment to collectively weep for our future.