Hairy Trigger Finger? Gun Owners Have More Penis Satisfaction

THE JOKE IS REAL: GUN OWNERS ARE MORE LIKELY TO HAVE PENIS SATISFACTION

It’s been a joke as long as there have been guns, gun nuts, and a sense that the two in combination had something to do with compensation. Shoot, who hasn’t seen an older guy driving by in a fancy sports or muscle car and gone, hmmmm. Sure, it’s unfair to paint with a broad brush. But we all know (especially we men) how fragile the male ego can be. But for those of us who know, there doesn’t seem to be the temptation or need to go buy a gun to feel better out the peg leg between our legs, the penis. But a new study has made it official: gun owners have a much higher penis satisfaction.

NOT SHOCKING: MEN WITH SMALL PENISES MORE LIKELY TO BECOME GUN OWNERS

And the proof is in the pudding, as it were. The study found that gun owners not only have more satisfaction with their penises, but that they are more satisfied with the girth, reach and even the aesthetic quality of their schlongs. And that there says quite a bit about gun owners, the penis, the male ego, and how easy it is seemingly to augment the latter. But there’s an unfortunate reality to the little man behind the curtain. Because it seems this also means that men who aren’t satisfied with their penile dimensions are more likely to become…. gun owners. So much for what’s under the hood of the car.

Traffic Stop Leads to Bombs, Guns and Civil War Plan

NEXT UP: HOW MANY GUN OWNERS SUFFERED A FAILED PENIS ENLARGEMENT ATTEMPT?

The study involved a sample of 1,840 men, which is a decent, alas, size to pull meaningful data from. But there’s so much more data to be coaxed out involving other permutations of the male ego, penis size and satisfaction, and how that correlates to gun ownership. There’s the testosterone factor, whether a man has enough (or too much). And then there’s the “attempted penis enlargement” group of men, which means pretty much what it says. I’m going to hazard a guess that there’s a certain number of gun owners out there who felt much better about their penis after a failed enlargement attempt.

The penis enlargement industry may want to use the slogan, “Do you lucky, punk?” You can read more about the study here.