It's Summer, But I Hate Spring Happiness and You Should Too

I HATE THE FIRST DAY OF SPRING HAPPINESS, YOU SHOULD TOO

Ok, so it is summer. Who cares? Cause I hated the first day of spring, which occurred on a Friday of all days. I hated it for a lot of reasons but mostly because everyone was just so goddamned happy. I generally love the spring. I love warm days. I LOVE sundresses. But this time around, this first day of spring, I was not a happy camper. For one, I was not camping. I would have loved to be camping on this one glorious sunny day. Here are some things that made me HATE the first day of spring.

1. As I already said, people were too happy everywhere.

2. As I also already said, I was not camping. I was in the city.

3. And I wasn’t JUST in the city. I was at work. All day. Inside.

4. It because so hot so suddenly that I had WAY too many clothes and, by far, the wrong jacket. I also HATE having the wrong jacket.

5. I have SO MANY jackets that it is super dumb to ever walk out of the house in the wrong one. But it just got so hot so fast that I was not prepared.

6. So I had to go around carrying all my extra layers today. I HATE carrying around all the clothes I wish I had left at home. It makes your arms all hot and your armpits all sweaty and COVERS YOU UP even more from the sun. It’s just all around awful.

Is Your Lady Happy with Your Sex Life? Probably Not.

7. The subways were both hot and cold simultaneously. Sometimes there was air conditioning and sometimes there was heat so it was a constant rollercoaster of temperatures. That is how you get sick, people! Changing temperature that much and that quickly is BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH. So now I feel like I’m getting sick. THANKS A LOT SPRINGTIME.

8. The garbage smell came back. I believe this one is self-explanatory.

My point is: GET IT TOGETHER, EARTH. Pick a temperature and go with it. I don’t care which one you even pick. Just MAKE A CHOICE. Then I will finally be happy. I’m sure of it. Happiness in reach!