No need to worry anymore about those pesky school shootings and tornados — now there’s a bulletproof blanket for kids. Sounds like an article from The Onion, right? But this is no joke. Instead of worrying about gun control, now your kid can go to school armed like a superhero and ready to ward off bullets from crazy mass shooters.
A new product has become available to protect your kids. It is the bullet-resistant Bodyguard™ blanket. The company’s website provides a detailed description of this new invention:
“Bodyguard™ blanket was developed and tested to specifically protect our children and teachers in the event of a school shooting. Bodyguard™ blanket is designed to be bullet resistant. It is made of the same materials our U.S. soldiers wear while in battle, and is equal to or exceeds the protection used by our police departments. After extensive research, it is estimated that Bodyguard™ blanket provides bullet resistant protection against 90% of all weapons that have been used in school shootings in the United States. We are so confident in the protective properties of Bodyguard™ blanket we are encouraging every administrator to make it an integral part of school and university lockdown protocol. Bodyguard™ blanket can be easily fastened around a child or adult, and is amazingly lightweight. When seconds count, Bodyguard™ blanket can provide a quick, simple solution for maximum protection against a school intruder.”
A podiatrist from Edmond, Okla., Steve Walker, came up with the idea. This father of two kids presented a sketch to his patient Stan Schone. Schone, by the way, refers to himself as a “redneck inventor from Oklahoma.” So, after Schone came onboard, so did two more men, Jeff Quinn and Jay Hanan. The four make up the executive team responsible for the Bodyguard blanket, produced by ProTecht, LLC. Hanan is an associate professor of mechanical and aerospace engineering at Oklahoma State University at Tulsa, and he introduced the team to Dyneema, a high-density lightweight plastic used for armor.
The nation has been shaken over the December 2012 Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting in Newtown, Conn., that killed 20 children and six adults. According to Everytown for Gun Safety, a movement of Americans working together to end gun violence, there have been 74 school shootings in America since Sandy Hook. The most recent shooting happened this past Tuesday, June 10.
The breakdown of school-shooting statistics is stomach churning. The average comes to well over one school shooting per school week. The actual figure is 1.37 school shootings weekly, and of the shootings, 64 percent are in grades K-12 schools with 36 percent on university campuses.
Business Insider wrote, “It’s come to this. We’ve now had so many mass shootings that entrepreneurs see space in the market for a bulletproof blanket, made specifically to shield small children from gunfire.” The protective blanket is also being promoted as gear for natural disasters like last year’s tornado that devastated Moore, Okla. The website states:
“The Bodyguard™ blanket was scientifically developed to provide a previously unavailable measure of protection when a tornado/storm shelter is unavailable for use. Bodyguard™ blanket has been tested and approved by university specialists to reduce significant impact to critical areas of the body caused by flying and falling debris. Bodyguard™ blanket is able to resist penetration from small flying debris moving in excess of 200mph; achieved by material properties that can withstand even the strongest rotating tornadic winds.”
Gawker wrote: “Encouraging schools to buy bulletproof blankets they probably can’t afford is not as insidious as, say, Wayne LaPierre’s insistence that every school be outfitted with a gun-toting police officer, but it stems from the same mentality. Rather than deal with the problems that lead to school shootings — lax gun control, limited access to mental health care, boys with unchecked anger — we should accept them as inevitable and gear up to protect ourselves from the bullets.”
The blanket is bright orange, so rescuers can spot the kids easily during a disaster. It’s 5/16-inches thick, rectangular and made from Dyneema, a light-weight material U.S. soldiers wear in battle. The protective blanket features straps that allow children to wear the pad like a backpack, while they crouch down in a ball on the floor like terrified turtles.
Dorri Olds is a contributing journalist for TheBlot Magazine.
