RICH INVESTOR NAMED JOHNSON SEEKS TO HAVE A YOUNGER JOHNSON AGAIN WITH SHOCKWAVE TREATMENT
I’ve made it to roughly half a century of life at this point. And I don’t know whether it’s the state of my marriage, the stresses of life, a short attention span or microplastics/vaccines/cellphones or whatever it may be that I haven’t really given all that much thought to having a young penis. Well, a young penis again in this lifetime. I don’t have ED, or any other scary acronyms that concern aging men, either. But some 3-legged folks can’t stop thinking about it. Having a youthful penis (of their own, get your mind out of the gutter, willya?) at an older age. Yet here I am hearing about a rich guy with the name Johnson who is trying to get a younger Johnson. With something called shockwave treatment.
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JOHNSON HAS TRIED TO DE-AGE HIS BODY FOR YEARS, BUT JOHNSON’S JOHNSON NOW A SPECIAL FOCUS
I don’t mean progeny, of course. But his name is Bryan Johnson, and he’s a rather successful investor in the tech sector. Shoot, he made $800 million in a single sale to eBay ten years ago! And Johnson has made some news ever since with his investments in trying to de-age his body. So far, that has mostly meant lots of data collection (a lot easier to do every year) and a vegan diet that I’d rather die young than eat. But Johnson is now concerned about his aging Johnson, and wants to try to get a younger one using shockwave treatment. And yes, shockwave treatment does involve electricity to the baby’s arm holding an apple.
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SHOCKWAVE TREATMENT COULD, IN THEORY, MAKE YOUR PENIS REJUVENATE ITS OWN TISSUE
So what the hell is shockwave treatment? Low-energy shockwaves that were first used to help cure men who had Peyronie’s Disease, which means a penis deformed by a buildup of painful, cock blocking (literally) scar tissue. When these shockwaves pass thru your penis, they force the cells to regenerate in several ways that promote new blood vessels and could, in theory, make your penis behave like it’s younger. As in, a youthful penis. Or, a rich Johnson concerned about his Little Johnson who wants to rise again more than every 3 days.
I find this somewhat annoying, as I’m concerned that when I’m actually concerned about my penile performance as I age, that I’ll find this information to be potentially hopeful as an option. That’s not the kind of blow to my ego (in theory, anyway) that will get a rise out of me. Well, yet.
