IN LAS VEGASS, MASKED THIEF MAKES OFF WITH GIANT DILDO, MOBY
So what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Except when it comes to a massive, 40lb dildo, anyway. A masked thief made quite the heist this week, an over the shoulder dildo holder, in fact. Come again, you ask? No, it’s a fact. The hands-on dildo nicker entered Deja Vu Love Boutique, an adult store with quite the wide variety of stock. He came, he picked up the massive dildo, he hoisted it over his shoulder, and he walked out. Witnesses say he was totally nonchalant, given the penal code potential. And yes, the dildo really does weigh that much. And, because of its size, it has the name, Moby. Well, and because it’s a giant Richard.
Read More: Las Vegas Hosted a Sidewalk Brawl, Featuring Disney Characters
MOBY THE DILDO THIEF CLEARLY DOESN’T CARE ABOUT THE PENAL CODE
No, not because it looks like the head of the musician. Because it’s so large. The one you spend a life chasing. Moby the 40lb dildo is 3 feet long! So take that into…. Consideration. Because it’s not fitting anywhere else. At least, I really hope not. And no, please don’t comment with links to the contrary. I just don’t need to know. We can simply leave that space in my imagination, empty. But the masked Moby marauder did his dirty deed in broad daylight! And yes, some prefer the light on. Sure, everybody is wearing masks these days. Ok, maybe not everybody. But this fully cocked criminal took advantage of the masked scene these days.
Related:
https://www.theblot.com/giant-phallus-storm-system-spreads/
SIZE MATTERS, SO MOBY THE DILDO COSTS OVER A GRAND FOR DESTROYING ORIFICES, MARRIAGES
Just think about it. Where else but Las Vegas can a man carrying a giant dildo be totally unremarkable? As you can see, that is one large, 40lb dildo. I shudder to think what is happening to it, or with it, right now. But people who commit to it don’t take it lightly. Um. As it costs $1,250. That’s sure to leave a hole in your cumber-bun. I mean, your budget. But so far, the man remains at large with his ill-gotten good time device. We’ll have to wait and see if the cops bring him down, and take him in.
