TOO MUCH STRAIN ON THE TOILET? YOU MIGHT WANT TO TRY TO MOO FOR POO
I’m old. But I’m not yet really old. And one of the things I associate with being really old is needing a stool loosener. But to be fair, it’s not just old people who trend towards straining painfully on the porcelain throne. And I’ve seen some strange (to me) things to help with that, one of the more noteworthy is an insanely overpriced footstool (yes, stool) to create the perfect angle to supposedly make your bowels release efficiently. But now I’ve heard (not literally, thank God) an even stranger way to help ease the process of having a poo: mooing like a cow. But will I remember to moo for poo when I need to?
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MAKING A MOO SOUND TO OPEN YOUR COLON IS ACTUALLY KIND OF SCIENTIFIC
Hopefully, I’ll never have to find out, spicy food being a staple and all. But for those who strain a lot on the toilet, it might be worth trying out. Well, maybe not in public bathrooms. But chronic straining can lead to hemorrhoids, and no one want hemorrhoids. But making moo sounds like a cow is actually scientific. It’s a less aggressive way of using the Valsalva maneuver, which is a breathing exercise that entails (not entrails) exhaling with force with your nose and mouth closed. Doing this increases pressure in your chest and abdomen, which in turn helps things move thru your colon.
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MAKING A MOO SOUND WILL ALSO HELP ACTIVATE YOUR VAGUS NERVE, WHICH HELPS EVERYTHING
But trying to moo for poo could also help, and be a gentler way to also activate the vagus nerve. The vagus nerve is the longest cranial nerve in your body, and is a big part of vital functions like breathing, heart rate as well as digestion. So in other words, trying a moo to poo could help things move along in more than one way. If the need strikes, I’d consider it. But now I’m worried about ending up in a retirement home where one can always hear the echoing sounds of someone trying a moo for poo, 24 hours a day.
