Ohio Residents Shocked To Find Their Water is Purple

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NOT MICHIGAN THIS TIME, OHIO RESIDENTS SHOCKED TO SEE THEIR TAP WATER IS PURPLE

So what else is new?  How about purple water?  But no, this isn’t an update from Flint, Michigan.  Instead, we now have residents of Ohio who are shocked to turn on their faucets and find purple water pouring out.  And no, this is not normal.  And no, it isn’t safe or healthy, either.  It’s PURPLE WATER.  Color me crazy.  But do you want your kids to drink or bathe in purple water?  Doing dishes would be a little nerve wracking, as well.  So where is this happening?  Coal Grove, Ohio.  That’s right, coal.  But is coal to blame, here?

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LOCAL PUMP FAILURE AND OVERDOSE OF NORMAL OXIDIZING AGENTS CAUSE THE COLOR PURPLE

Local officials say it was a simple malfunction.  A pump screwed up and a far larger than normal amount of sodium permanganate got into the local water.  So what is that stuff?  We use it to take out iron and manganese from water supplies.  It’s an oxidizer.  So that means it turns those two into larger particles that filters can catch.  That’s how you remove them from the water supply.  So as you can imagine, finding purple water in your sinks, toilets and bathtubs is not a fun situation.  Home suddenly doesn’t feel that safe anymore.

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OFFICIALS PROMISE IT’S TOTALLY SAFE, JUST DON’T DRINK AND BATHE IN PURPLE WATER, OK?

So is it safe?  Well, yes.  And a big no.  An officer from an area water treatment plant said that the purple water was not dangerous at all.  BUT.  Yes, but.  But, the very same person also cautioned that no one should drink or bathe in the purple water.  So sure, it’s safe.  Unless you ingest it or it gets on your skin.  It’s the kind of bureaucratic answer straight from an Orwell novel.  But these days, it’s getting pretty damn normal.  But for now, officials have “flushed” the system several times.  So if you want your water to not be purple, you have to let your water run until it’s gone.

Way to go, Ohio.  Next up, purple people eaters.  But don’t worry, they’re completely safe.  Unless they eat you….

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