COPS PULL OVER SPEEDING NAKED VASELINE COVERED MASTURBATOR
Usually when police pull someone over for a violation, they are caught. But this stop involved someone police could have in custody but never really catch. Last week John Wayne Kellerman (better than being Bobbit, right?) got pulled over by police for speeding but didn’t actually try to give them the slip, despite the fact that he was naked and covered with Vaseline. I’m sure police get some strange and stranger things when they pull over cars, but this can’t be too common. Traffic stops tend to make police really tense as they all too often end up being dangerous scenarios. But a naked guy covered in Vaseline?
POLICE HORRIFIED TO DISCOVER WHAT MAN AFTER STOP
This is what Deputy Darryl Beebe, working for the Garfield County Sheriff’s Department, discovered when he pulled over the 54-year-old Kellerman for driving 57 in a 45-mph zone. As Beebe approached the car he could see that the driver was mostly naked with the exception of a bikini thong. There was also a porno mag visible on the seat next to the driver. And, of course, also in view was an almost empty jaw of Vaseline, sitting right next to the driver.
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DRIVER SHAKING, SITTING IN EXTREMELY GREASY SIDE OF CAR
A sergeant also arrived at the traffic stop to do a vehicle inventory, as reported by the Enid News and Eagle. The sergeant made note that the driver’s side of the car was “extremely greasy.”
Included in the police report obtained by The Smoking Gun, Kellerman looked to be extremely nervous with shaking hands. He gave Beebe an ID card and also offered the officer a rag to wipe off the Vaseline.
The officer declined the offer.
LUBED MASTURBATOR HASN’T HAD A VALID DRIVER’S LICENSE IN 32 YEARS
During questioning, Kellerman seems to have admitted to masturbating behind the wheel just before Beebe pulled him over.
Beebe checked Kellerman’s license and, of course, discovered he was driving on a revoked license. Kellerman’s license hasn’t been valid since 1985!
Kellerman has spent the majority of the past 27 years in state prison on a host of charges, including domestic assault, car theft, burglary and narcotics possession.
Kellerman was arraigned last week both for speeding and driving with a revoked license. Later, he was freed on $1,000 bond.
