LET’S ALL GO BY THEY/THEM, NO PRONOUNS OR GENDER IDENTIFIERS IN MY FAMILY
Pronouns force people into little boxes, which can prove to be prisons for those within. If we all went by they/them there wouldn’t be any of this gendered nonsense. We would all listen to each other and believe each other and take each other at our word. There would be no difference between the way we spoke to one person or another person. We would empathize more with each other because we would call them how we call ourselves. When I have a family I will use the they/them pronouns until they can decide which pronouns they prefer on their own. Children know where they stand on the gender spectrum by the age of four, and when they know I am sure they will tell me. It will take them longer to determine their sexuality, but since sexuality is not tied to gender in any way it does not matter.
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MY KIDS WILL TAKE THEIR TIME FIGURING OUT THEIR OWN GENDER IDENTIFIERS
My children will wear gender-neutral clothing and sport gender-neutral haircuts. They will get to decide for themselves where they fall on the masculine-to-feminine sliding scale: maybe they want to have short hair, wear a skirt and tennis shoes. Or maybe they want to wear baggy pants, a tank top and paint their nails. They can find where they fall in time, there’s no rush. And if they are able to figure it out naturally, they will be better off.
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KIDS ARE BOXED IN WITH IDENTITY FROM THE GET-GO
What we do now is much more harmful. We put each child in a gendered box based on their sex determined at birth. Then, if they don’t feel quite right in that box, they must struggle with that reality until they are able to vocalize their pain and discomfort. This is often met with ignorance and resistance, which can lead to many years of struggle and hardship.
Taking away that hardship is the best thing a parent can do. And when kids grow up accepted and fully realized, they are more kind and accepting themselves. If we all were able to grow up this way, the world would most certainly be a better place.
