ROLLS ROYCE TRAFFIC STOP LEADS COPS TO LOTS OF WEED, AND A BABY SPIDER MONKEY IN A ONESIE
Somehow, this story isn’t from Florida. California Highway Patrol was on the job and saw a Rolls Royce driving dangerously fast. So they followed the speeding car, and suspected that the man driving it was more than likely under the influence of alcohol. So they pulled him over in a standard traffic stop. But what they found was anything but standard. First off, they found a number of rather large containers filled with Marijuana, and not the kind you’d buy in a legal dispensary. But they also found something even more unusual: a baby spider monkey in the front passenger seat wearing a onesie.
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IN CALIFORNIA, OWNING A PRIMATE AS A PET IS ILLEGAL, AND A BABY SPIDER MONKEY IS EVEN WORSE
Again, how could this not be in Florida? Is the Golden State so large, it’s looking to usurp Florida as the top source of dumbass foolery? A couple more stories like these, and it’s all too possible. I’m not sure about Florida, but in California it’s against the law to own any kind of primate as a pet. But a baby spider monkey, one that’s only one-month old no less, is even worse. Spider monkeys need intense, specialized care. If they don’t have constant supervision when they’re young, they die before they have any chance at a life.
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BABY SPIDER MONKEY WASN’T EVEN IN A BABY SEAT OR A SEAT BELT, JUST THAT APPALLING PINK ONESIE
And even more ridiculous and upsetting, is the fact that the baby spider monkey was wearing the pink onesie you can see above, and was in the front passenger seat with no kind of seatbelt, or even a kid’s seat! The baby spider monkey, now named “Marcel” like the one from the Friends show, was taken to the county animal services department for some mashed bananas before heading to its new home at the Oakland Zoo. The driver and suspected drug dealer now faces charges for possession of an exotic animal, as well as possession of drugs with an intent to sell. He’s in a county jail cell. I doubt he’s being fed mashed bananas.
