Some four years ago, “There’s an app for that” was the iPhone 3’s big sales slogan. Since then, we’ve seen apps (what some of us still think of as “programs”) developed for more things than you can shake a memory stick at. Now, SmartCompany in Australia is reporting on an app called LinkedUp!. This app scans your LinkedIn network looking for prospective dates, not unlike the way Tinder looks through Facebook.
It may be the worst idea I’ve heard all year.
When it comes to technology, I have a firmly held belief: Just because you can do something does not mean you should do something. Posting drunk and naked selfies anywhere springs to mind. Yes, you can do it. No, it isn’t a good idea.
Now, the theory behind looking for dates through your LinkedIn network is straightforward. You are looking at a group of potential romantic partners who already have something in common with you. As logicians say, that is axiomatic. You have people in common, interests in common, you follow some of the same themes.
Don’t take my word for it. A really important person named Steven Snyder wrote in Psychology Today, “I realized what had intrigued me about LinkedUp! It was the frustration of so many of my sex therapy patients who kept meeting people online with whom they had very little in common. Most of the people I see in the office work very long hours. So their business community is often closer and more intimate than their home community. I wondered if LinkedUp! might tap this power of one’s work community for human connection — and maybe lead to more promising dates.”
Maybe.
Here’s my take on it. These people are working very long hours. There’s the damn problem right there. I have another firmly held belief: If you’re any good at your job, you shouldn’t be working more than six hours a day. Most people don’t work more than that, but somehow it takes them 10 or 12 hours to get those six in. Meetings that go on and on, business lunches, breaks, conference calls and my personal favorite, off-site team-building exercises. The difference between people who are at work long hours and me is that I refuse to put in the fluff time. As a result, I know people from lots of places other than work. I don’t need to socialize with people in my profession.
Think about it. You may have career interests in common with all these LinkedIn likelies, but seriously, do you want to spend your first date talking about work? Most people, present company included, have boring jobs. Unless you are a circus clown, a spy, a gangster or Indiana Jones, talking about your job is going to bore the bejesus out of your date. And listening to someone in your LinkedIn network is going to do the same to you. “The thing I hate about EBITDA as a way of measuring a company’s success …” or ,“Can you believe they gave Shwarzman the district manager’s job?” Yes, it’s boring.
Next, “their business community is often closer and more intimate than their home community.” Well, sure it is because they are wasting too many hours in it. And for that reason, you don’t want to date within your business community. “You don’t shit where you eat” is good advice.
Office politics, developing your career and otherwise being a responsible cog in the economic machine is hard enough when you don’t have emotional attachments in the way. Throw in romance, and you’ll definitely screw things up. And we haven’t even touched on sexual harassment lawsuits.
So, no, never, ever mix business and romance. But if you are going to do it, for God’s sake, don’t use any kind of social media app. As we have all learned from painful experience, those things leave a permanent trace (yes, Snapchat says it doesn’t — I don’t believe them). So if you are going to do this damned stupid thing, please, for the love of your career and your career as a lover, don’t do it in that damned stupid way.
Jeff Myhre is a contributing journalist for TheBlot Magazine.
