Syria is in hello.
Hey guys, hey! Do you guys like Syria? Do you like bombing? Do you like military strikes? Do you like long, drawn-out weird political situations?
Well do we have the quagmire for you! Syria is the biggest clusterfuck this side of a pool party at Peter North’s apartment complex and boy, is it the strangest to try to explain. So here goes.
Basically, an evil dentist took over a country and is attacking his own people, and there is a (highly justified) revolt against him. However, some of the members of this opposition are members of Al Qaeda. That means that the American military would be fighting alongside members of Al Qaeda, a terrorist network who were largely responsible for the events of 9/11.
Over the weekend, Obama called for a military strike against al-Assad after al-Assad had recently used chemical weapons against his own people. Despite the fact that al-Assad had already killed roughly 100,000 of his own people, the use of chemical weapons is apparently, in Obama’s words, a “red line.” White House press spokesman was recently quoted saying:
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“The use of chemical weapons is contrary to the standards adopted by the vast majority of nations and international efforts since World War I to eliminate the use of such weapons…. The use of these weapons on a mass scale and a threat of proliferation is a threat to our national interests and a concern to the entire world.”
Meanwhile, Syrian-backed hackers (or what can be confirmed as at least a group of people supporting the dictator Bashar al-Assad) have been attacking a wide range of US media companies. The New York Times, Twitter, Amazon, Instagram, The Washington Post, Google, and several other sites have been hacked. Bashar al-Assad’s son also recently posted a message on his Facebook (ugh) (like some tween posting about One Direction) reportedly egging American military forces to strike again against Syria, because he think they’ll win, or something. I mean, it’s Facebook. This is basically just some dude posting a thing on a social network which is in itself Zzzzzzz but the fact that it’s the son of a dictator makes it 150% creepy.
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The one fact that people on both sides of the argument seem to be missing is that thousands of people are going to die no matter what. America’s response to someone bombing their own people is to… keep bombing those same people. Surely the military targets are chosen to reduce civilian casualties, yet it strikes me as incredibly curious as to the fact that Obama’s response to a casualty seems to involve the very thing that he’s trying to stop. It’s Obama trying to stop smoking cigarettes by picking up cigars instead. Yes, there is absolutely a military dictator. But 59% of Americans don’t want to get involved in yet another fucking war. We’ve been at war in the middle east since 2001 – the longest period of military deployment in American history. And while the situation in Syria is undeniably tragic, it bears the question: why is it our job to police the rest of the world?
Obama has specifically asked for Congress’s approval to strike Syria, thus making the same body of government that couldn’t pass a gun bill that 91% of American’s supported in charge of the wellbeing of another country.
Why?
