CONNECTICUT CONSERVATIVES FREAK OUT OVER NEW WOKE COFFEE BAR, NEED TO WAKE UP
It’s really hard to wake up in the morning sometimes. I can attest to that in this very moment! So coffee is to order, as is some kind of brekke to get the blood moving. So what’s to do about that? If I was in Coventry, Connecticut, I might consider the brand-new option on the local morning menu, the Woke Coffee Bar. It opened last week, and is looking for curious new customers like me to make happy to come back again on the regular. But uh oh! It has the word woke in it! And woke has nothing to do with the morning, at least not anymore for conservatives. They are up in arms over the new coffee bar, and its (to them) enraging name.
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WOKE COFFEE BAR CONTROVERSY HAS TAKEN ON A IFE OF ITS OWN ONLINE WITH ANGRY CONSERVATIVES
The brand new Woke Coffee Bar was opened by Carmen Quiroga, who is more than a little confused at the controversy her little morning café has caused. She explained, “When we were thinking of an idea, we obviously wanted a word that would represent something related to morning. We wanted something that was quick and easy to say.” But local conservatives have lost their collective (resistance is futile) minds over the word, Woke. And that controversy has gotten a little messy online, on Facebook and the Coventry CT Citizen’s Open Forum page. Local conservatives think the name means something else, like the Woke Movement. Which is a movement entirely created as a fog horn by and for conservatives.
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ANGRY CONSERVATIVES CALL FOR BOYCOTT OF WOKE BAR, BUT REALLY NEED MORE COFFEE TO WAKE UP
Quiroga thinks it’s silly. “I’m a Mexican,” she said “I don’t know anything about what ‘woke’ means to some people.” But local conservatives just can’t accept the idea that a breakfast place, a café no less, has nothing to do with anything but tasty caffeination and morning foods. Landrie Ohlund, the Coventry CT Citizen’s Open Forum page’s admin, has even had to threaten to remove “ridiculous comments” about the Woke Coffee Bar. Some angry conservatives want to boycott the new business, and simply can’t let their own Wokeness meters calm down.
I think it’s time for more coffee, myself. And Carmen, if I’m ever in Coventry, I’ll be sure to stop by!
